What are humans searching for in life? What are the common things that we work so hard to find? There are so many lists of what people are searching for to make them happy, some as short as five and others as long as 20, showing that no matter how different we are culturally, we are similar at the core of our human experience.
What many lists have in common is that people try all their lives—successfully or not—to feel safe, to feel that they matter, and to feel that they belong. Yet we are all chasing “the one” that’s meant for us in all aspects of life whether it’s work or love, relationships or money, and everything else that fall under those three main things.Here are some aspects to work on to make us better prepared to receive “the one.”
Mayo Clinic asked the question “Is having a sense of belonging important?” The answer is yes. “The sense of belonging is fundamental to the way humankind organizes itself. If it was unimportant, we would live solitary lives…we would have no families, communities or organized government,” the report said. “We cannot separate the importance of a sense of belonging from our physical and mental health. When we feel we have support and are not alone, we are more resilient, often coping more effectively with difficult times in our lives. Coping well with hardships decreases the physical and mental effects of these situations.”
So how do we “belong more”? One way is to make an effort to engage more with people. For introverts, it really is an effort to put themselves out there, talk to people and do activities with them. Next and most important of all is to keep an open mind and welcome the changes in your expanding world—accept people for who they are, be mindful that they have different personalities from you.
When you keep an open mind about people and make the effort to get to know them, friendships may start to bloom, you become more open to dating and the possibility of pursuing romantic relationships and enjoying the process. You don’t have the attitude that romantic attachments will just eventually hurt you. You work more to make it work.
Getting involved in your neighborhood community or groups that advocate for what you care about is a good way, too, to feel you belong in something that is beyond yourself.
Authors Isaac Prilleltensky and Ora Prilleltensky define mattering as “feeling valued and adding value.” It is, they say, essential for health, happiness, love, work, and social wellbeing. “Feeling like we matter is one of the most defining features of our humanity. When that feeling is present, we thrive. When it is absent, we feel ignored and helpless. Threats to mattering diminish dignity and can cause destruction, as we have witnessed in school shootings over the last few decades.” Their book How People Matter explains how promoting mattering within communities fosters wellness and fairness in equal measure.
This is in line with a study by Scientific America, which found that “the psychological construct of mattering gauges the risk of depression, suicide and other disorders.” And it starts when we’re young. “What makes neglect by parents so destructive is the message it sends to the child who is made to feel irrelevant, invisible, and insignificant.”
How to matter? Add value to people’s lives and to companies you work for. This could be in the form of friendship, listening, being there when it matters, and giving your best in everything you do at work.
In the workplace, establishing yourself as a valuable employee means constant development in your skills whether it’s in your job description or not. Employees who are dedicated, who use their skills and attitude to contribute to their teams have better opportunities for career advancement. Then you can be in the position to choose “the one” in your professional life. You’re no longer chasing employment, but they chase you. Eventually, you get to be in the position to decide whether you want to stay employed or start your own business.
The University of Sussex says “feeling safe and secure means having a sense of control of yourself and the environment. Exploring, discovering, and challenging your boundaries can be really fun, and can help you get to know who you are. The trick is to do this in a way that keeps you safe emotionally and physically.”
The study continues that when you feel safe, you can do more, “you’re confident to handle problems, and that there won’t be lasting negative effects on you, people you care about, or other things important to you—like your job or school.”
The feeling of safety goes hand in hand with the freedom to do things you care about, things you enjoy doing and are passionate about. When you feel safe, you are more confident with your decisions, you are mentally and emotionally ready to pursue and achieve “the ones” that make you happy, feel secure, and celebrate living.
One way to feel safe, secure, and confident as you search, strive, attract, work for, and even enjoy “the ones” for love, life, family, career, happiness, and personal wellbeing is to say yes to the one that takes care and protects you—wherever you are in life.
FWD Life Insurance’s new product, FWD The One for Life Insurance Cover, allows you to do that. Created for the Gen Zs or digital natives, breadwinners, and for the digital elderlies (many of them their grandparents’ age), FWD The One is composed of a life insurance as the base plan and lets you personalize for added protection according to what you need, for whatever phase in life you are in. With FWD The One, you can add and build your coverage with a critical Illness benefit or an accidental death benefit, or both. It’s your choice of protection. Your life, your plan!
The flexibility of FWD’s The One and the ease you can purchase it (no medical tests needed) on FWD’s online shop make it truly The One to choose for 2023 and beyond. Time to say yes to the one that protects you and get ready for the ones that make life happier and more exciting!